In Loving Memory

Her name was Nani to her grandchildren and she was the sweetest grandmother ever. Now is she tied with my mother-in-law for best grandmother. Ever since I first met Nani, she has always been polite and generous to me. She does not speak English, but Dev told me she always asked how my parents were and I could tell she was so happy her grandchildren were happy, despite not marrying into the Sikh faith. She treated my brother-in-law and I like her own grandchildren.

Nani had been through so many hardships in her life, as did my grandmother on my mom's side. Unfortunately, I never met my grandmother. But, Nani was always so great with her kids and grandkids despite all of the tragedy she has seen in her life. She has lost her husband and even many of her children. I truly believe Dev is the way he is because of his mom and she is the way she is because of Nani. Generous and caring describe her best.

Nani spent her time divided between the U.S. with our family and Thailand with her other daughter and family. I know from personal experience that grandchildren often feel guilt when their grandparents pass away that they didn't spend more time with them. I know Dev and my sister-in-law feel this way, but the truth is they loved her and valued every moment they did have with her.

I think it is a blessing that she lived such a long life without many health problems and that she had so many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. If we could all be so lucky. I really believe no matter what culture or religion you follow that we will be with our family for eternity. I truly, truly believe this with all of my heart. One day in heaven, my mom and aunt will be arguing over a bill in a restaurant and I will roll my eyes. We will always and forever be our parents children.

That does not change the fact of how hurt my family is, especially my mother-in-law. She is currently in Thailand and when we spoke to her last night, I told her how sorry I am and how much we love her and will take care of her when she returns to the U.S.. To hear her cry is so painful.

I only knew Nani for a few years, but I will always remember how happy she made her family and how blessed we were to have her at our wedding. May you always rest in peace.

I like birthdays

Usually I am a little awkward with birthday celebrations. I find it embarrassing and sometimes tacky the way birthdays are celebrated. But, I changed my mind this year. I still don't want to go out and get drunk (sorry, I like to remember my birthday) or celebrate with balloons and all that, but I decided to embrace birthdays from now on.

I recently read a funny quote from a celebrity - something like he/she wants everyone to know their age because they want credit for each year alive. I found it amusing and I agreed.

But, I mostly changed my mind because as I get a little older each year I realize how lucky I am and I truly value this. I am healthy, happy, and in love. Dev jokes around that my family always wishes for the healthy part and his the happy. I always make a wish for both so I guess I am covered from both families.

Two short years ago we got engaged very close to my birthday. I was not (and I am still not) big on surprises, but that one was life changing and forever special to me. This year we are again seeing a broadway show and doing dinner (my choices), but there will be fewer surprises and less bling at the end of the night.

This year for my birthday, my mother-in-law is in Thailand visiting her mom because she is really ill. My mother-in-law is without doubt one of the most generous, thoughtful and caring people that exists. To see her sad or in pain is horrific because of how much her family and I love her. I still think that my MIL is blessed to have her mom with her at almost age sixty, but that does not change the fact of how painful it is to see a loved one ill. I can tell you that without a doubt I have known my birthday wish for sometime. If you have read even a few of my posts, you know I am baby obsessed so I was going to wish for a baby this year. I still want one. But instead of wishing for me, I am going to grow up a little and wish for something bigger than myself. I am not superstitious, but I think it's nice tradition to not say your birthday wish because than it may not come true.

Love and almost 26!

Juliet

Patience...or lack thereof

My lack of patience even surprise me sometimes. Many people can lose patience here and there, but in one month I can see how little patience I have that I feel it is worth describing...because it needs to be fixed...fast.

A quick example is this evening. Dev and I are taking an exam to become certified by NYS food protection. It requires several online quizzes to be taken before the actual sit-down exam and these quizzes have mini lectures attached to them. I was going crazy waiting the fifteen minutes required before taking each quiz and rather than do something valuable with my time while waiting if I finished reading before fifteen minutes, I decided to sit and keep pressing "Take quiz" while the time updated. You would think at 10 minutes, 49 seconds that I would be smart enough to know if I click right away, it still wouldn't let me take the quiz. Nope. For me, pure frustration.

A second, more important example of my lack of patience is what I will now call, "that baby I desperately want." I watched a Lifetime movie tonight called "The Pregnancy Project" where they say the easiest thing to do is get pregnant and the hardest thing to do is raise it. There are tons of television shows documenting teen pregnancy and more magazine articles than I can handle telling of the latest celebrity to get pregnant with her ex-boyfriend. I don't want to sound too dramatic, but I cannot help but say it is not as easy as people say!! We tried for one month and the resulted with no pregnancy. What did happen is I cried (a lot) and I learned that this will take more than one month and more patience than I encompass right now. When I became a google neurotic person of topics like "two lines" and "how many symptoms do you need to have" and "when is the earliest to test" I realized how many women have been trying for so long to get pregnant and how much patience you need for this process, because it can be a long one.

I know I am slowly improving because tonight when I passed the pregnancy test in the store, I stopped and walked right past it knowing I will only cause myself more anxiety (and money). I do have to say waiting for those two lines were more daunting than any exam I have ever experienced.

I also realized how badly I want a baby with Dev and that no age or timing of school or job could change that now. I never thought I could be so disappointed in only one month, but I was. I need to do much better at putting things in perspective without getting so emotional and I need to become patient.

After all, I do find out where I go for residency tomorrow, which means I should be sleeping. I said I was slowly improving, but I will probably be awake for most of the night.

<3

Juliet

Study, study

With the second part of my boards exam tomorrow and only 15% battery remaining on my computer, I thought it would be a good time to quickly update!

I feel as though I will finally have the time to do all of the things I planned this year once this exam is over...which really means my "new year" starts tomorrow at 3:00 pm (that is if I pass it). So, with all of the little stickie notes on my desktop, you would think I have a lot to talk about.

My short term plans are to get the wedding album done (I'm closing in on one year with no album, cheers) and plan a trip for my mom and me to go to China. It was a birthday gift from Dev and I and I am excited to visit somewhere new with her.

I have re-watched half of the series of "The Office" while studying for my exam because I no longer study without distraction and my attention span is 20 minutes. One of the characters just described that when she is bored she makes impulsive decisions in her life. I am afraid of doing that when I border on going insane at school. Instead, I decided to turn that into something productive. I will probably start within the next month or two a new blog that focuses on oral health for women and children since that is what I plan to do following school.

Absolutely no news on the baby front. All I can say is I thought it would be a breeze to get pregnant. Nope! That is okay because I am completely obsessed with my munchkin niece who just turned one month today!

I have all of these goals....and then I see that face and all I can think is I want that! In order to have that and be able to feed, clothe, and house a child, I should probably study (or sleep) so I can become a dentist.

Juliet

Bad at math

I may be a soon-to-be dentist, but that does not mean I can add, subtract, multiply or do any type of math well. I was really good up until calculus II and then I was lost forever. It is no secret of my baby fever, so when I am trying to figure out ovulation cycles and WedMD is telling me a riddle to figure it out, it does not make me happy.

How can I know that "First day of previous menstrual period" and "Beginning of Last Menstrual period mean two different things?" 


This blog will probably become too graphic soon. But, then again, who cares when at the end of this crazy process you see a face like this?

Juliet

Hmmm

2010: Engagement

2011: Wedding x 2

2012:

Happy New Years!

Juliet

Last year

Just about this time last year we were in complete wedding mode. Here we are at a cousin's wedding during the 2010 blizzard! The entire family was planning for our three day affair and preparing for what would be one of the best days of our lives. It is hard to see, but this wedding was absolutely gorgeous and I just remember thinking I hope ours is just as amazing. 2011 flew by so quickly - wedding festivities, the actual weddings, the honeymoon - all were incredible and I can honestly say it was the best year of my life. One of the reasons our wedding was so special was because the week before Dev's mom and sister called us while we were driving and told us she was pregnant. Knowing that our family was going to grow made my heart swell.

She is only five days old and I am in love with her. I don't believe in love at first sight, but I think she totally changed my mind.

Call me auntie!

Finally, finally, finally!!! We are officially an auntie and uncle! I can honestly say this was such a long pregnancy and it was not even mine. My sister-in-law says it is because we found out so early (about 4-6 weeks into pregnancy), which is why it seems as if it has been a year.

She came five days late and she came into this world when she was ready at 7 pounds 1 ounce and 20 inches. Her name is Anyah and I am head over heals in love with her.

I have dozens of photos of her, but I am having camera issues, so here is one of her first photos.

Anyah's mommy went into labor late Sunday night and we rushed to the hospital. We are clueless because first time mommies can be in labor for hours and hours. We came back to the hospital in the early morning and at a perfect timing because it took under an hour for her to arrive. I think I am the only one in the family who wanted to stay in the room and watch the birth. My brother-in-law stayed close behind the curtain because he did not want to witness all that comes with birth, but I think it is all beautiful. It is not even my child and I thought it was the most beautiful thing to watch her enter this world. I told my friend that after witnessing it, I think it is "totally doable" even though I have yet to experience anything close to labor pains. Silly me, I will likely eat my words.

I think it is amazing how much a newborn can change over a few days. People say she will change so much within the next month. After meeting my pretty little niece, I can honestly say I am even more ready to have a baby in 2012.

Love,
Juliet

Me and my grilled cheese friend

Thank you Diana for sending me this totally inspirational blog Penelope Trunk Blog. It is not only addicting to read, but will certainly entertain me and procrastinate my studying for boards in the upcoming months. I already read the two entries about soul searching and career choices. Definitely worth a read if you are as conflicted about your career choices as we are.

Diana and I have been friends for over 10 years! That is a lot of years for 25 year-old girls who move around and change friendships during their twenties. I am calling her my grilled cheese friend because that is basically where our friendship began. I drove her home from school. She made me grilled cheese.

Since high school we have changed...but only a little. She is getting a PhD in Biology and I am pursuing dentistry. Sure, we have different hobbies and groups of friends now. Diana is a food junkie and loves fashion, but she still loves me despite knowing I am obsessed with babies.  One of the most common things we share as best friends right now is still figuring out what we what to do with our degrees. We are intelligent, sassy, and curious, and yet, I think we both have no idea what to do career-wise. I personally felt more confident at 18 or 21; I was organized and I determined to become a dentist. Now I have motivation, but not in the same way I did four years ago. I want to start a family and I want a career that I will love, but more than that I want to be successful. Am I asking for too much and it's not even the holidays or my birthday yet? Diana would have to guest post to describe her feelings (hint, hint).

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I had to go back to the Penelope Trunk Blog just to remind myself that I cannot be someone else or have someone else's exact career despite how clever or relatable it is to me. But, that is the exact challenge I have felt for several months.

Can I convince myself that fixing someone's teeth will make a difference? Probably not. That is when I start to throw around the idea of consulting and I drive Dev nuts because he knows that I don't know what that entails!

Back to my grilled cheese friend, Diana! I thought of writing this when I saw a post on Penelope Trunk about how co-workers can change your life. I don't have any co-workers right now and most of my classmates simply drive me insane, so I thought of someone that makes my life better and I instantly thought of Diana. A week earlier, I wrote how my friends constantly motivate me to pursue new interests and she is certainly one of those people. She is always exploring new things and how to better herself. She makes me think outside the box and keeps me on my feet. She is also pretty damn good at making grilled cheese and bakes like no other!

So, thank you Diana for not only being my best friend, but for always inspiring me, even by just sending me fun blogs to read.

I had a portrait photo chosen, but this one was just so much more perfect

Love,

Juliet

Anxious!

When I saw my sister-in-law called today, I was anticipating her to say that she was in labor and before even picking up the phone, I became all nervous thinking that I did not have my camera and I didn't know of a near-by florist. I instantly realized my thoughts were insane, but I was grateful she was not in labor yet. After all, I was not prepared! Maybe I need an overnight bag too? Maybe not.

While I am obviously over excited for us to be a first time aunt and uncle, I am even more excited to see how our niece will be raised. Since my sister-in-law is Sikh and my brother-in-law is Muslim, it is a great opportunity to see how they blend their traditions and create new ones. I have asked her in the past about her feelings of raising the baby in one or more faiths, but it is really a personal decision for each family. Some people, like myself, try to plan to a tee and others prefer to plan as needed. With raising children in an interfaith family, I feel that is necessary at minimum to have a discussion with your significant other about their feelings. With all of our planning, I am positive there are situations we cannot even predict, which is why I am even more interested to see how my sister-in-law tends with these issues. Since she is a more "go with the flow" type of person, she definitely has a good impact on me.

I just finished watching this week's episode of All American Muslim on TLC and there is a couple featured on the show where the newlywed husband converted from Christianity to Islam. There was debate whether he did it for his wife or for himself, but regardless of the reason, it was important to him and his family to raise their children in one faith. In my relationship, there was never a conversation of conversion, simply because I am and always will consider myself Jewish and the same with Sikhism for Dev. In our family, we consider our household both Jewish and Sikh with neither dominating, but for other families this would not be possible.

This subject of pre-planning an interfaith family made me really want to write another article for Interfaith Family. Hopefully, I can finish before the New Year!

The next time I post, I will hopefully be holding a newborn baby!

Love & anticipation to be a chachi!

Juliet